This has the potential to be a VERY long Blog, so I'm going to attempt to keep it as short as possible without leaving out any of the juicy details.

I was asked to recount the way I have decided upon this latest adventure of mine, and so I will attempt to condense YEARS of preparation (as far as God was concerned) and tempering into less than a few internet pages.

As long as I could remember, I've loved the wind. Especially in October. Maybe it was nostalgic because it was my birthday month, but something about the way the fall wind blows in Florida, I've always sensed a call to run. To run away from the present, to run away from the past. To run to the future, to a place I've never known, a place that didn't bear so many bad memories. To disappear from the existence I hated. To disappear from myself. Something in the wind always drew out the part of me that wanted to travel the most. And so I would cry at night, in October, feeling the pull of a call I thought I could never answer.

Also, along those lines, I've always been an artist. I've always found refuge in art, as it was a way to escape the harsh reality of what I lived in. Whether you consider fiction writing or painting an art, I do not care. It was just who I was, something I accepted as a talent I never felt really very "good" at. I considered myself mediocre, as only comparing yourself to the heroes you look up to could. I never figured I'd be good enough with my art or my writing to be much of anything to the world. So I never tried. I held onto those creative aspects of my soul in secret, ashamed to let anyone into that world, because if I had, they might consider me a freak. Burying myself in my own little world, I was perfectly content to never come out.

So then what happens? What happens when God gets a hold of us? What happens when we seek Him with all our hearts? The bible tells us that all these things will be added unto us. What does that even mean? I'm still not sure, but I think I'm beginning to find out.

For years I buried the desire to travel and do art because of so many reasons. There really isn't enough time or attention span for me to explain why I felt inadequate to do anything with my art or even for God, if indeed that was what I wanted. I just didn't think I was good enough. I wanted to go but I held myself back. "Go where?" was always a question I didn't have an answer to.

I remained this way for too long. So to cut to the chase, I'll skip ahead to last year, on the mission trip called The World Race. It is a trip of 11 countries in 11 months, and I had only recently felt a call on my life for missions, but I didn't know what or where. I figured, that if I went to 11 countries and participated in 11 different ministries, SURELY I'd find SOMETHING I was called to and passionate about.

The people involved with the World Race aim (no pun intended) to help people along a road that begins with Abandonment, followed by brokenness, dependency, empowering and calling. Most of AIM staff are happy if Racers get to the dependency stage by the end of the race, though most find themselves in the empowerment area, and even some get as far as "calling" by the end of the race.

Come month 9, I was JUST beginning to figure out what dependency meant, that being, dependency on God and Christian brethren. I had no idea that empowerment and calling would come so quickly.  I met an alumni racer in Nicaragua, my 9^th country, who basically changed my perspective of life in an instant.

I had already made plans to return home and return to my previous job, maybe lead a real-life trip or something along those lines. I had just given up on finding my "calling" as far as missions were concerned, because I had already seen 8 countries, and though I was loving central America, I still wasn't certain this was where God wanted me.

Then on a rooftop, in one of the windiest cities in Nicaragua, during the middle of a worship session, this alumni racer came to me and told me, "Kirsten, you have been created for a purpose. God designed you with specific talents to do something only you can do." Of course, in my skeptical, cynical heart, I answered, "Well, yeah. God created EVERYONE with a purpose and a plan. It says so in Jeremiah 29:11." She stopped me and said, "No, Kirsten. YOU. You are SPECIAL. Your talents are SPECIAL. The purpose God has for you is something only YOU can do."

I accepted that at the time. I didn't know what she meant, but I accepted it in my heart. Later on that month, we had a conversation about John 3. It is the chapter where Nicodemus comes to Jesus, and they have that famous interaction about "Being Born Again." It talks about being born of flesh and water, but there is a little verse in the middle of this passage that says, Verse 8: "The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit." I've never understood this verse until now, because the alumni was telling me about a member of her squad who couldn't wait to get home and get back to "normal" life. He hurried himself into a 12 month lease, but by the end of the first month, he was so eager to leave.

Why?

It is because people who are born of the Spirit, are born of the wind. They are used to being "light", and therefore able to move with the wind, with the Spirit of God. When God says "go," they can go, because they are as light as a Spirit, they are as light as the Wind. When God breathes, they are moved. Those who are born of the "flesh" or the reality, are not light. They are heavy, and bogged down by the cares of this life. They have things like debt, insurance, car payments, house payments. . . things that are not necessarily bad, but things that are technically "of this world." So therefore when God breathes, they can't just up and leave. . . because they have responsibilities. (Disclaimer, people can be born of the Spirit and have responsibilities, that isn't the argument here. I'm just talking about what I discovered about myself.)

So along comes month 11, and our last country, Guatemala. I was in Antigua, which is one of the most inspiring cities I've ever been too. All month long I had been enveloped in a rich culture focused on color and art and wonder. . . and there were many times that month where we would go out to the park and worship in our respective abilities. My teammates played guitar and sang, and I drew pictures. I gave them to the crowd of people, letting them speak to the masses about God in a way they may have never seen before.

And I felt complete. As if something in my soul had been satisfied from a hunger it never knew it had.

Later on that week, I was having a discussion with many of my squadmates. We were talking about what lay after the race for each of us. They all had plans and ideas, some of which were grandiose and others merely stepping stones, but at least they had some direction. I felt a twinge of despair, for as much as I LOVED my home, my roommates and church, and even my job, I knew that if I spent any prolonged amount of time there in that place, I would again begin to feel restless. I'd feel hopeless and unfulfilled, for somehow I knew there was more for me, even if I didn't know what that "more" was.

I made the offhanded comment, more of a joke than reality, and said: "Hopefully I don't stay in West Palm for very long. Maybe I'll just live in my car and drive around and do artwork on the side of the road."

My Beloved teammate, Jenny Sue Hill, then looks at me with all seriousness and replied, "I thought about doing that once. Living out of my car for a summer."

It was in that moment, while Jenny was licking the extra refried beans off of her spoon, when everything made sense. All of the yearning, all of the art, all of the verses and encouraging words. Everything I had ever prayed for and dreamed for, every wish, every tear, every hopeless cry for purpose was answered. I could imagine God in His heaven, on His golden throne, looking down at me in so much love, with a smile beginning to pierce His lips as He watched the revelation of my call scream out of the past and strike me dead in the heart.

I was cut to the quick, I felt as though imprinting had taken place, the very moment I had ALWAYS been created for. God showed me what He had created me for. For Freedom. For Creativity. For Imagination. For bringing the Love of Jesus in a way NOBODY had ever seen before.

It was terrifying. My squad mates watched as my eyes grew wide and I clutched my heart in panic. I think I may have even cursed in that moment, as the revelation of what I am supposed to do came as suddenly as someone stubbing their toe in the dark.

The verse, John 3:8, grasped onto my being. I was supposed to be like the wind, and let the Spirit of God carry me along, to bring light and color to a world so cold. A world so dark. So sad and lonely. My home.

I had briefly mentioned wanting to do an "art road tour" of sorts about a couple of years ago. I never imagined God would actually answer those prayers. I thought they were mere dreams. Flights of fancy. Now I realize, it is in the dreaming where God can make Himself most manifest, because dreams are things of fantasy. What is fantasy anyway, but the fantastical account of impossible things made real? Whether they be seen as supernatural or not, aren't they all miracles? One in the same? It is He who created us for eternity that has made these dreams possible. . . and that is the most fantastic miracle of them all.

So, I know you have all been waiting with baited breath to discover the route which we will be tentatively (in accordance with the leading of the Holy Spirit) following. It is as follows: 

September 12-October 1st - Maryland/Virginia Area

October 3rd-November 1st - Atlanta, Georgia Area

November 3rd-December 1st - Alabama

December 3rd-December 19th - Tennessee 

December 20th - Drive back to WPB, Florida

December 22nd-January 7th - Bolivia (on a plane.... in case you were wondering)

January 8th - WPB, Florida for a while

So there you have it! These are the places where fantastic, outstanding, wonderful, kind, loving and creative people of God have invited us to come and speak, create art, or serve alongside them. This is a huge part of the purpose of the road trip. To come alongside the Church of Christ in America and encourage and serve along with them. 

What does this mean exactly? This means that we are COMPLETELY DEPENDENT upon the body of Christ in America. We are dependent upon our brothers and sisters to house us, feed us, and fill up our gas tank so that we can get to our next destination. We have abandoned nearly everything to follow God's call, which means we have given up homes, the security of a consistent paycheck, and even our dear home communities to follow Him.

We are going out on the principle of Luke 10 as found in the bible. We are going by two, carrying neither purse or satchel, and hoping to bring peace and love wherever we go. We are trusting that God will provide through His body for us. There are so many people who wish they can go, but can't, and therefore we are going for them.

Without preying upon any feelings of guilt, we are throwing ourselves upon your mercy to do this call. We are not fooled, we aren't expecting this to be a joyride, and neither is it a vacation. We're not asking you to fund our extracurricular activities, we're asking you to partner with us to see a Kingdom Dream come true.

Though we will be selling art, t-shirts, and other original creations to put gas in our tank and feed ourselves, we won't feasibly be able to survive unless we have people who are willing to sponsor our mission.

There are a couple of ways you can help us.

One way that you, the unsafe behaviorist, can contribute to the cause. Invite us to your state! If you have a group you would like us to speak to, or a venue in which Kirsten can display/create art. It doesn't just have to be about art, if you'd like us to come and help out at your church or non-profit, Send us an e-mail at unsafebehavior@gmail.com 

The second way that you can help us is to just flat out donate. Currently, we have very few financial demands. (When you live out of a car, there isn't much to pay for.) We are paying for our Phones, Car insurance, Gas, Food, Art Supplies, and the cost of the Bolivia trip. We are not against people putting gas in our car, food in our bellies, or even donating art supplies to us. We will literally take anything you throw at us. If you'd like to house us for a couple of days, we'd greatly appreciate it! However, If you would rather just donate financially, please visit our campaign on IndieGoGo HERE: Unsafe Behavior Bolivia Campaign

Of course, one of the best ways to help us is to pray. Pray Pray Pray. We need and covet your prayers. Also, spread the word. Maybe you don't have any direct contacts at a church or non-profit, but you may know somebody that does. Let people know what we are doing so that they may be able to help later!

Please, we will not shy away from any questions. Feel free to ask us anything and we will answer you honestly and quickly. After all, sometimes honesty is the most unsafe behavior of them all.

We love you all. Truly. Hope to meet you in person soon.

Spence and Kige.

Now, of course Isaiah was preaching to the children of Israel, more specifically to the wickedness of Judah. But I found it interesting, because though he is speaking to Judah, how much more relevant can this be to us today?

Traveling the world has given me a HUGE perspective change on my own culture. We're taught to question our cultural questions with the formula: "Is it right, wrong, or really just different?" Maybe in America it would SEEM wrong for someone to just spit on your shoe, but in China, that's perfectly normal. In America, we consider "lateness" as an insult, whereas in most other countries, the don't really consider the time important, rather the people.

But coming back home, it has TRULY been an eye opener, in more ways than I could have even imagined it to be. I see things in a whole new way now. I see a mother screaming at her child in ignorance rather than hatred. I see a son rebelling because he wasn't loved enough. We blame so many things on others, when we REFUSE to take care of ourselves. We REFUSE to be corrected. We REFUSE to allow love in.

And so what happens?

We remain ill.

We refuse to take the healing measures to rectify our lives. "It's too painful. It's too hard. It's too SOMETHING." We make excuses and then wonder why we don't get better.

But the answer is there. God has told us the problem. The whole HEAD is SICK, and the whole heart faints.

How many people are walking around, desperately wanting their heart to be full. To be loved?ALL OF US. This is a DESPERATE problem in America. We want so desperately to be seen, to be known, to be TOLD THAT SOMEONE LOVES US.

And even when we are, we have difficulty believing it because Our whole head is sick. It is sick because we have been told LIES. Lies from the media, lies from our parents, lies from our friends, lies from our LOVERS.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

The words of truth stop at our mind, and can never actually get into our hurting hearts. God is saying, "Why bother correcting you? You refuse to hear the TRUTH, and therefore you in essence REFUSE to have your hearts comforted."

So what do we do?

Somehow, we have to start taking our medicine. If the whole head is sick, then we need to take the remedy! We need to feast on the Truth, that is, the Truth that we ARE loved, we ARE wanted, we ARE accepted. We have a LOVELY, Glorious Father in heaven that will Love us REGARDLESS of what we feel, think, act. And if we can remember that truth, if we feast on that, if we Taste and See that the LORD is good, then maybe, our hearts will not be so faint within us. Maybe we'll be able to give and receive love in a way never imagined before.

Then maybe, we can heal our land.